It Might Not Be Your Fault, But It Is Your Responsibility.

Taking responsibility for your life is hard. That’s why so many of us deflect our own personal responsibility onto others.

Bad things in your life might not be your fault, but they are now your responsibility. If my brother was being mugged by a stranger, it wouldn’t be my fault, but it would be my responsibility to help him.

For most of my life, I confused fault with responsibility.

Why I Started Taking Responsibility for My Own Actions

Ever hit rock bottom? Everyone’s got their own version of it. Most of the time, we don’t own up to it and take responsibility until it’s too late.

I hit my own rock bottom when I was a senior at the University of Michigan.

For me, rock bottom was tweeting at the President of the United States, asking for help to get rid of the University of Michigan’s COVID rules.

I was so entitled that I thought my problems were the priority. It didn’t matter that there was a global pandemic killing millions of people. It didn’t matter that people were losing loved ones. I had the audacity to think that what mattered was that I couldn’t party with my friends.

People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy

Bruce Wayne, Batman Begins

Do you know what my problem was? Everything my whole life had been handed to me. When I started to face real adversity, I wasn’t ready for it. We all have a plan until things go sideways.

Through Suffering, We Find Meaning

Back to my embarrassing tweet.

Because of that tweet, I got a much needed reality check. The girl I was dating dumped me. This was the first time in a long time I had real life consequences for my actions.

Everybody has a plan until they get hit in the mouth!

Mike Tyson

When you get hit in the mouth, you gain a nice sense of clarity.

Being humiliated was the best thing that that could have happened to me. I had nobody to blame but myself.

When you don’t experience failure, you feel that you are entitled to success.

I had the realization that in life, we are entitled to nothing.

You Can’t Control What Happens To You, But You Can Control How You Feel About It

I used to think things beyond my control were the cause of my unhappiness.

My entire life, I blamed the world for my problems. To name a few…

• If it wasn’t for the pandemic, I would’ve had a fun senior year.
• If only I put away my phone before I was caught cheating!
• It wasn’t my fault that I didn’t get the job, the interviewer just asked really difficult questions.
• If I wasn’t short, it’d be easier to get a girlfriend

Instead, I should have taken responsibility for my circumstances.

Here’s how I should have approached those problems:

• Only I can control my feelings. What activities can I do to turn a poor situation into one with some meaning?
• I cheated, I should suffer the consequences. Learn from it and move on. (By the way, getting a zero on that test was the best thing that happened to me. I never cheated again)
• I did not study enough and entered the interview unprepared. How can I learn from this and walk into my next interview with the tools to be successful?
• There’s no point complaining about something you can’t control. Which parts of my personality can I highlight to make me a more attractive partner?

Changing My Mindset to Be a Victor, Not a Victim

You might be wondering how I was able to shift my mindset. The covid pandemic was a big part of it. Although I wouldn’t wish the pandemic on my worst enemy, without it I wouldn’t be the person that I am today.

I will do everything in my power to become a victor and not a victim!

Eric Thomas

In the depths of my darkness during Covid, I picked up reading. One of the first books I read was Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. I read Frankl’s book when I was at my lowest point, and it changed everything for me.

Viktor survived Auschwitz. He saw the destruction and death of everything and everyone he knew. Viktor didn’t just survive Auschwitz, he thrived; he came out of a real-life nightmare as a better person.

He found meaning through suffering.

Responsibility as a Tool for Personal Growth

I can’t tell you how to live your life, but I can assure you that taking responsibility will give you a better sense of direction. Experiencing discomfort and adversity will teach you life’s greatest lessons.

Accepting responsibility for events in my life completely transformed me into who I am today. We all have different strategies for challenging ourselves. Some of the tactics I found effective was putting myself in uncomfortable situations – emotionally and physically.

Pursuing the accomplishments below helped me increase personal growth and accountability. I’d encourage you to think critically about where you can take more accountability to develop a greater sense of purpose in your life. Because none of us are perfect.